


Let It Fade Away

by garconrouge



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Childhood Memories, Established Relationship, Family Angst, Family Drama, Family Dynamics, Family History, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mother-Son Relationship, Past Relationship(s), Phil Mitchell is a Bastard, Soap Opera, Unconventional Families, Warnings May Change, i know the show is a soap opera but like, none onscreen, parenting, this is such a soap plot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-01-26 08:42:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21371332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/garconrouge/pseuds/garconrouge
Summary: For the first time in his life, Callum Highway is truly happy. He has a job, a boyfriend he loves, and a flat that needs redecorating. He's planning the rest of his life with the people around him, ready to move on and forget about the past that has held him back for so long.It's nearing his 29th birthday, and he can't wait to celebrate it with his newfound family. But amongst all the excitement, a single birthday card lights the spark that unearths more memories and family secrets than he ever could have bargained for.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway & Original Female Character(s), Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 44
Kudos: 139





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this fic for a hell of a long time already, so I hope this first chapter shows how much work I've put in! This first chapter is a lot of set-up, but the rest will be more dialogue/scene focused.
> 
> Some notes:
> 
> This is set a few months into the future of the show, so I've obviously had to wing it on a few things. This fic's canon is thus (for now- it may change depending on how actual show canon suits my plot):  
-Diverts from canon after 07/11/19, with a timeskip  
-Sharon and Louise have both given birth, and after the Sheanu drama was exposed Keanu left, taking his and Sharon's child with him, as per Phil's wishes  
-Callum and Ben are living together in the flat above the funeral parlor, and have been for a while.  
-Grant's old plotlines have been mercilessly ignored for this fic, so if you're a stickler for established canon, be warned.
> 
> Also a huge thanks to Amy for putting up with me yelling at her in the dm's while I planned this whole thing, and Kewi for reading this over n giving it the green light ily both thanks for hyping me up <3
> 
> ~title is from memories by panic! at the disco~

Callum had never really cared about his birthday before. As a kid, the only person to even remember the date had been Stuart- and even then, the most he could afford to get him was a small toy or a hot dog from the van down the street. His father, of course, never got him anything. He was fairly sure Jonno didn’t even bother to remember his son’s name most of the time, let alone the date on which he was born. He’d only gotten him a gift once- a wooden toy plane, for his fourth-or-fifth birthday. He remembered that plane so vividly, but had no idea where it was anymore- just another object of his childhood lost to time. He’d never received another gift from his dad.

Everything was different now, though. He wasn’t that neglected little kid any more- he had people who cared about him, enough to remember his birthday and actually want to celebrate it. And, even better, he had a boyfriend- one whose own birthday was only a few days before his.

Having their birthdays in such close proximity may have bothered any other couple- after all, your birthday was supposed to be the one time of the year that was just about you, and nobody else. For Ben and Callum however, the dates being so close worked perfectly. Callum, having grown up with his birthday near-completely ignored, felt uncomfortable being the sole centre of such attention, and Ben had never liked the idea of genuinely celebrating himself with no hint of cockiness or ulterior motive. And so they came to a natural conclusion fairly quickly- to share their birthday celebrations, just as they shared other aspects of their lives. The intimacy made Callum smile- it was something so simple that he’d never experienced before Ben. One of many.

One thing he  _ had _ experienced before Ben, was sharing a flat with your significant other. He’d lived with Whitney for so long that initially it had felt weird to not have her around- and not even in a romantic sense. There were little things he still expected to see, like her shoes next to the sofa or her coat slung over a chair. He was still getting over how odd her absence felt. 

Ben moving in had helped. It wasn’t mere empty space that he was glancing over to any more. Instead, littered around the flat were small reminders of his boyfriend’s presence- his glasses on the kitchen countertop, his boots by the bedroom door, and his weirdly long phone charger down one side of the bed. The only jarring aspect of his co-habitation with Ben was the fact that it was the same flat he’d shared with Whitney.

Which is exactly what she said when she came round to visit.

After everything had settled, the two of them had set on remaining friends. Whitney didn’t hold Callum’s feelings for Ben against him, even if it still hurt her a little to see them together. She seemed to understand that this was something he couldn’t control, and that everything he had done was because he was afraid of being who he really was.

So here she was, sitting on the sofa that had once been theirs, a mug of tea clasped between her hands as she talked.

“You really need to get on the decorating, the pair of you,” she aired, tilting her head to look around the room, “looks exactly the same as when we arrived.”

“I’m still not a fan of the wallpaper,” Callum smirked. He had thought about redecorating many times since moving in, even before he and Whitney had split. The garish pink colour scheme that ran through the flat would definitely not have been at the top of his interior decorating choices. He’d never so much as painted a wall before though, and so the idea of redecorating an entire flat intimidated him. He didn’t even know where to start, and so he never had. 

There was a gift sitting next to her on the sofa, a small box wrapped in paper and tied with a bow. That was the reason she’d come round; to drop his birthday present off. He’d offered her a cup of tea at the door, and the two of them had gotten so distracted she still hadn’t given him the gift. Whitney seemed to realise this just as Callum did, making a loud “ _ oh!”  _ noise before setting her tea down and picking the box up from beside her. 

“Happy birthday,” she said, handing him the present with a smile. Callum couldn’t help but grin back at her. Even though it had been a good few years since he rebuilt his life, the novelty of receiving presents for simply getting older had not yet worn off. 

“It’s not for a few days still, but thank you,” Callum beamed. He set it aside for now. “I’m gonna open them all on the proper day, but no matter what it is, thank you, Whit.” He knew he was incredibly lucky- anyone else in his position could have ruined all hope of a friendship with the woman he’d hurt so deeply. To have her in his life still, even caring about him enough to buy him a gift, was so much more than he could have ever hoped for. 

“Be a few years ‘till I’m buying Ben birthday presents again, though,” she said lightly. He could hear the slight twinge of pain behind her words, but knew she didn’t intend them with any malice. He couldn’t blame her for not being particularly keen on the man he’d cheated on her with. 

They sat together for another half hour, slowly getting through their hot drinks as they chatted about their lives. Whitney told him how her stall was thriving recently, and Callum told her about a circus-themed funeral he’d had fun planning. It was nice to just sit together and talk, like they used to. Except now there was no pretence- he wasn’t having to lie to her with every movement, keep up the appearance of being straight. It was just comfortable.

She left when the sun began to dip in the sky, and the first traces of sunset peeked through the curtains. Callum walked her to the door, and hugged her goodbye, content with the time they’d spent together. 

When he shut the door behind her, he heard a piece of paper slide across the floor. There was an envelope stuck under the door, bright green and a little crumpled from where it had been dragged. Crouching down to grab it, he saw the address labelled clearly-

_ Callum Highway _

_ 53a Turpin Road _

A birthday card, he supposed. There was a Hallmark stamp on the back, and he could feel the thick card through the envelope. He wasn’t sure who would be sending him a birthday card in the post; almost everyone he knew lived within walking distance, it wouldn’t be difficult for them to catch him in the street or see him at work to deliver a card. Curious, he tore the envelope open and slid out the card inside. His stomach dropped at the writing on the front-  _ HAPPY BIRTHDAY SON.  _ Callum felt sick as he looked down at the card. Why would Jonno be sending him a birthday card? The last time Callum had seen his father, he’d made it blatantly clear how he felt about his son. He opened the envelope if only to find out what exactly Jonno’s intentions were.

His breathing hitched when he looked at the message inside. It wasn’t even the contents that had shaken him, but the handwriting. The swirling cursive, slanted slightly to the right, and capital letters almost double the size of the following sentences. This was something from deep within his memories, that he hadn’t seen in many years. Reading the message inside, Callum wasn’t even certain it was real. 

_ My Callum,  _

_ Happy birthday son. It feels like only yesterday you were small enough to carry around, and now you’re so grown up. I know I’m likely the last person you’re wanting to hear from after everything that’s happened, but I hope we can speak soon. I miss you.  _

_ I love you ever so much, _

_ Mum xxx _

The skirting board was digging into his back. He’d slid down the wall while reading, his body on autopilot, lowering him to the floor while he dealt with his disbelief. His mother. The card was from his  _ mother. _ The same woman who’d left him alone with his father for as long as he could remember, walked out on him and Stuart without a second thought as to how her sons would cope without her, had bothered enough about his existence to send him a birthday card. 

As far as Callum could remember, she’d never done that before. No matter how recently he’d seen her, or how old he got, he had no memories of her reaching out to him like this before.

There were a thousand questions rushing through his mind-  _ why now? Why had she never bothered before? How did she know where he lived? What changed? Had she spoken to his father? Did she know? _

He sat on the floor of the hallway until his foot went numb, just staring blankly at the card and trying to figure out what this meant. Slowly, he began to understand how he felt. Beneath every question, every guess as to what had prompted the sudden contact, was a lingering disdain. This woman had abandoned him. She’d left him in that house, tiny and scared and alone in this world without his mother. She knew as well as anybody just how badly his father drank, had seen the true extent of his neglect and emotional abuse. And she’d left him.

Callum was  _ angry.  _ She didn’t deserve a reconciliation, he decided- and if she thought she did, she would have to do a better fucking job of making it up to him than just sending him a card in the post. He rose from the floor, crumpling the card in his hand as he did so. He threw it into the bin, getting angrier by the second as he thought about just how arrogant his mum must be. Did she really believe that one birthday card would make everything okay?

He buried the card under a cereal box for good measure. He didn’t even want to think about it any more. He’d managed to forget about his mother before this had happened, and he was certain he could go right back to forgetting about her now.

He cleaned the flat to take his mind off it. They’d both been quite busy in the past week, and so the flat had begun to get cluttered and messy. There were dishes piling up in the sink, and clothes littering their bedroom floor. Lexi had spilled a bag of crisps in the living room a few days ago, and so he needed to hoover those remaining crumbs up too. By the time Ben came home, the surfaces were sparkling and the air smelled of Febreze and laundry detergent. 

“Got myself a proper little house husband,” he joked as he came through the front door, taking his coat off and laying it over the arm of the sofa.

“Just thought we could do with a clean,” Callum replied as he walked over to Ben, wrapping his arms around him and kissing him to welcome him home. “Been pretty slow downstairs, not like I’ve got much else to do.” 

“Don’t tire yourself out tho, will ya,” Ben replied, patting Callum’s cheek lightly with a smile. He pulled away to move towards the kitchen, and Callum started to think about what Whitney had said to him earlier.

“D’ya think we should redecorate?” he asked, moving to lean against a counter. “Whit was round earlier, and she mentioned how the flat still looks the same as when we first moved in-”

“You mean so ugly it makes your eyes bleed?” Ben laughed as he grabbed two mugs from the sink. 

“Yeah,” Callum laughed along, “so I was thinking we could do it up, y’know, put our own stamp on it.”

“I reckon that’d be alright, yeah. So long as you don’t trip over the wallpaper paste.” Callum swatted at Ben for the remark, before bringing up an idea he hoped Ben would be okay with.

“And I was thinking… maybe we could do the spare bedroom up for Lexi? Then she could stay over at ours sometimes. If you’d be okay with that?”

Ben took a second to respond. He was facing away from Callum, who was nervous about not being able to see his expression. He knew that what was now their spare bedroom had once been Paul’s room, and that a connection that deep and painful is not one that could be forgotten easily. It was something Callum thought about often, and he hoped that this could be a step forward for Ben.

He turned towards Callum after a moment, and he was relieved to see the grin spread across his face.

“I’d love that.”

They spoke to Lola about it the next day, and thankfully she accepted their request. Even though they spent a lot of time with Lexi already, Callum had been anxious that Lola would be unwilling to let her daughter stay with them. It was a silly apprehension, but one that he’d held nonetheless. They hadn’t told Lexi yet- they planned to keep it a surprise for when everything was planned a little better. 

He would never admit it, but Callum was jealous of Lexi sometimes. He’d grown up with an absent mother and a father who liked to pretend he didn’t exist, whereas Lexi had not only both biological parents in her life, but two  _ extra  _ dads to boot. None of them were alcoholics, either, which was always a plus.

He tried to stop that train of thought before it went too far. Thinking about his childhood now meant thinking about his mother, and that only led him back to fretting over the birthday card buried in their kitchen bin.

He tried to forget. He needed to.

Ben’s birthday was a nice, if modest affair. He didn’t like the focus being on him so sincerely. Ben could revel in attention when he wanted it, when he was putting on all the bravado and cockiness, riling someone up or tearing someone down. But when the attention was genuine affection, such public displays of just how people cared for him, he shied away. 

For this reason, he celebrated his birthday in the corner of E20, alongside Callum, Jay, and Lola. Kathy had agreed to babysit Lexi for the night, and so they were free to spend as long as they wanted drinking and chatting together. Jay and Lola arrived first, grabbing a table and ordering a round of drinks before Ben and Callum had even set foot in the club. 

They’d brought two presents with them, one from each of them. He’d received a present from Lexi earlier in the day, a misshapen pot she’d made and painted during a kids’ pottery session at the community centre. He’d placed it on a shelf in the kitchen the moment they’d got home. The pride and warmth in his eyes made Callum’s lungs feel like they were going to burst, seeing just how much Ben cared for his daughter and loving him all the more for it.

They’d only had an hour or so between saying goodbye to Lexi and the time they’d arranged to meet Jay and Lola at the club. Callum spent the hour teasing him about getting older, and Ben laughed at him, with a “you’re next” thrown in for good measure. Callum rolled his eyes at him when he made a point of placing his wallet on the kitchen counter and leaving it behind for the night; he refused to pay for his drinks on his birthday-  _ “What’s the point in turning twenty-four if I can’t get you lot to buy booze for me?” _

“You’d never normally turn down an excuse to flash the cash,” Jay laughed when Ben told him about this decision. The two traded expressions that gave away just how many years they had spent together. The pair were indecipherable sometimes. Entire conversations could pass between them through looks alone, and Callum would have no idea what had just happened. It was the kind of friendship you could only achieve through a lifetime by each others’ sides. Lola did it too. During the past few months, Callum had noticed himself being included in these silent conversations- a raise of the eyebrows from Lola, a wink from Ben, or a smirk from Jay telling him everything he needed to know in seconds. It was the kind of intimacy he’d never really had before now, and he reveled in it.

They were a family, the four of them. Or at least the healthiest, happiest, and closest thing to a family Callum had ever really found. For once in his life, he felt as if he’d found a group of people who loved him unconditionally, and who would be there for him no matter what he needed. And so it was frustrating, that even though he knew his real family were sitting here with him, at the back of a cocktail bar teasing him about his jumper, he couldn’t stop thinking about his mother. No matter how hard he tried to forget about her and that card, it was still there at the back of his mind. In any moment of quiet, his mind would wander to think about how long it had been since he’d last seen her handwriting, or imagining her picking out the right card, or thinking about how she’d called him  _ ‘my Callum’.  _

His mother didn’t care about him. She never had. The fact that she left him was proof enough. But it was becoming clearer every second that Callum still cared about her. No matter how angry he was at her, or how little faith he had in her reliability- he missed his mum.


	2. Chapter 2

They told Lexi two days after Ben’s birthday. As they predicted, she was unreasonably excited, jumping from her seat the moment the words left Ben’s mouth and she saw the supportive nod from her mum. While there was still no real plan for how often Lexi would be staying with them, she was already reeling off the litany of things she wanted in her room- including fluffy pillows, a princess bedspread, and a toy giraffe.

“Why don’t you make a list of what you want,” Callum said, grabbing a notebook and pen and setting them down on the coffee table. He knew that if they didn’t get her to write down her list of demands, they’d end up forgetting something- and then they’d have an angry seven-year-old on their hands, upset that they’d forgotten to buy her Pop Tart-themed curtains or something.

“Can I have  _ anything?” _ she asked, not even looking up from the notebook.

“Anything that won’t break the bank,” Ben laughed, ruffling a hand through her hair. She swatted at him with her free hand, still avidly scribbling down everything she wanted in her room. 

“You have seen the size of that room, aint you Lex? You’re not gonna be able to fit a whole toy shop in there,” Lola was peering over her shoulder at the list, and Callum was a little concerned as to what she could be writing. He knew what Lexi was like- and how easily Ben was swayed into giving in to her. They may have a decent bit of money, but definitely not enough to give Lexi everything she could think of. 

“I will make it fit,” she said decidedly. He tried to stifle it, but the grin that broke out across Callum’s face, and the laugh that sounded out across the room was one he couldn’t help. If he was honest, suddenly becoming a step-dad to a seven year old girl had never been part of his dreams- but now that it was happening, he wouldn’t have his life any other way. Lexi was so important to him now, and Callum knew that he would give anything in this world to make sure that she was happy. He’d been worried that she wouldn’t like him at first, would see this random man turn up in her life and reject him with disgust, or refuse to trust him. Thankfully, their friendship had bloomed quickly- by the third time they’d spent time together, she was already wanting to hug him to say both hello and goodbye. 

Before he became a part of Lexi’s life, Callum had always worried he’d be a terrible father. The only example of parenting he’d ever really seen had come from his own father; little needed to be said about just how terrible an example that was. Every time he’d thought of becoming a dad, Callum thought back to how Jonno had been throughout his childhood. Surly, drunk, aggressive. He would have rather spent an evening in a bar than with his sons.

Callum didn’t want to be like that. Whitney had tried to reassure him many times, saying that he didn’t even drink much, and that he didn’t have an aggressive bone in his body. But Callum fretted over it anyway. He’d never spent much time around children, being the youngest in his family and then going into the army fairly quickly. He had no idea how to act around them, how to play with them or discipline them or know how angry he was ‘allowed’ to get. He tried to spend time with Ollie to get the hang of it, but the death glares he garnered from Shirley whenever he so much as picked him up stopped him in his tracks. 

Children were so delicate. Callum knew that well. Their brains were still developing, and any small mistake felt monumental. He was worried that anything he did could be the wrong thing to do, and that any child he came into contact with could end up permanently damaged because of him.

Everything changed when he spent time with Lexi. She was older than Ollie, able to talk back to him and speak her mind about what he was doing- which she did frequently. With parents like Ben and Lola, it was no surprise that she was unafraid to voice any and all complaints she had for the people around her. And it helped- when Callum spent time with her, he wasn’t utterly terrified that he was fucking up and getting everything wrong. If he did, she would tell him. 

The fact that Lexi actually liked him made him happier than anything else in the world. It felt like a huge weight taken from his shoulders, this concrete confirmation that he  _ was  _ good enough to be a dad, and that he wouldn’t fuck everything up. 

It warmed his heart to hear her laugh with him. It also felt like one massive, glimmering  _ fuck you  _ to Jonno- the best way to show him that he wasn’t like him, and never would be.

He was pulled from his thoughts by Ben exclaiming, the type of noise that indicated he’d just remembered something. 

“You got post earlier babe,” he said, leaning over to grab an envelope from the kitchen counter, before bringing it over to Callum, “I think it’s a birthday card.”

His guard went up immediately. He’d been trying so hard to forget about the card from his mother, and so far he had been successful. But now, with the appearance of yet  _ another  _ birthday card, his mind and heart were racing. He took the card from Ben, shifting himself further away from the others in the room in case they tried to peek over his shoulder. He opened the envelope with anxious fingers, sliding the card out and trying to keep his cool as he read the front.

_ To a Special Son, Happy Birthday. _

His breath caught in his throat. Callum had no idea what to do in this situation. He’d been home alone when he received the first card, which allowed him to freak out as much as he wanted without facing any questions or naïve attempts at consolation. But now, he was being watched. He could feel Lola and Ben’s eyes on him from across the room. 

He opened the card carefully, folding it over completely so that the front and back pages were pressed together. He didn’t want to risk either of them seeing the word ‘ _ son’  _ on the front page and realising what was happening.

_ To my lovely boy, _

_ I don’t know if you received my last card. I sincerely hope that you did, and this address is correct. I want you to know just how much I love you, and how I’m thinking about you always at this time of year. Things will be different soon, I’m going to make sure of it. _

_ I’ll see you soon, _

_ Mum xxx _

He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the words “ _ see you soon _ ”. That could surely only mean one thing, and Callum didn’t like that thought at all. He’d like to think that there was no way his mother would bother to come to Walford. She hadn’t seen him at all in the past decade, so why would she even bother turning up for his birthday? 

But she’d never sent him a card before either, and now suddenly there were two in the same week. His mother’s behaviour was completely unpredictable to him now, and he had no idea what was going to happen next. He couldn’t bear the idea of her coming to his house, her  _ meeting Ben _ . Did she already know, or would he have to tell her? How would she even react? He always presumed she thought the same way Jonno did- she’d had two children with him, after all. Two children she’d abandoned the moment things got a little too hard for her.

He knew he had to quell any prospering panic. There was no way he could continue to think about all of this, and what it meant, in the same room as Lola and Ben. He wasn’t great at hiding how he felt, and they would be able to tell easily if he got any more upset.

“You okay, Callum?” Ben asked, as if he had a direct line to Callum’s thoughts. 

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine,” he responded, bending the card in half and shoving it into the pocket of his jacket. It was the only way he could think to dispose of it without letting anybody else see.

“Who’s it from?” He hoped it was casual curiosity coming from Ben- and not that he was so readable that his boyfriend could already tell there was something going on.

“Oh… just some lads from the Army. It’s not important.” The lie was blatant, but Callum hoped he pulled off just the right combination of ‘I’m fine’ and ‘I don’t want to talk about it’ that Ben wouldn’t question him any further.

“Well I hope you don’t treat all your birthday cards like that,” Lola piped up, “or else I’ll stop buying you them.”

He laughed in response, but it felt empty. He was trying to just forget, like he had before, but it wasn’t working this time. Something about the second card, and the words  _ ‘see you soon’  _ refused to leave his brain. There was nothing he could do but power through and pretend to be fine.

He couldn’t tell anyone. If he did, he’d have to explain exactly why it was that he didn’t want to see his mother- and that was opening a whole other can of worms that he didn’t think he’d ever be ready for. Ben knew small parts about his childhood, that his father was an alcoholic and that his mother was absent, but Callum had never been able to bring himself to tell his boyfriend the whole story. 

“I’m finished!” Lexi announced, placing her pen down on the coffee table in an exaggerated manner. Looking over, Callum could see that she’d written almost two full pages of items that she wanted for her room. He had no idea how she was planning to fit all of it in such a small space, but he was sure that she was going to try.

“Let’s have a look then,” Callum said, grabbing the notebook and reading through the pages. Ben inched closer to read too, resting his head on Callum’s shoulder as he did so. The physical contact was nice. He wasn’t sure how it was possible, but when Ben touched him, the world seemed to calm. It could be the simplest physical contact, but it would stop Callum’s brain from racing, make everything seem so much easier for a few fleeting moments- a brief serenity coming from touch alone.

“A succulent?” Lola asked, now crowded around the notebook too. She cocked her head to the side in confusion, “What’s one of them?”

“Think it’s like a plant, but fat,” Callum provided. Whitney had always pointed them out to him when they went grocery shopping, but he still didn’t fully understand their purpose. 

“They’re very beautiful,” was all Lexi said on the matter, and her parents seemed to accept that as a valid answer. Sometimes Callum wished that he could be as acceptably succinct as a child- giving short answers that only half made sense, and almost never explained the logic behind his reasoning. Maybe then he could show just how distressed he actually was, and explain it away with irrelevant nonsense instead of actually having to disclose what was happening. 

“Right, we might as well get cracking then,” Ben said, taking the notebook from Callum’s hands and walking over to where his coat was slung over a chair. “If we don’t start buying this stuff soon, we’ll be here ‘till Christmas.”

“I think I’m gonna stay behind,” Callum said quickly. If Ben wanted to go shopping, then he could get at least an hour alone to sort his head out and try to forget about everything with his mother. “Got a bit of a headache, going out’d probably make it worse.”

“Don’t be straining yourself on this madam’s behalf,” Ben smiled, before putting his coat on and placing the notebook in his pocket. “We off then, you two?”

Lexi looked hesitant, looking between Ben and Callum for a few moments.

“Daddy, I want to stay with Callum,” she said, crossing her arms and pouting up at her dad. He wasn’t sure what to do in this situation; on one hand, he’d wanted to have some time alone to parse through his feelings. On the other, Lexi so adamantly wanting to spend more time alone with him warmed his heart. He took for granted how important he must be to her sometimes.

“He’s got a headache baby, come on, leave him be.” He appreciated Ben’s effort, but didn’t want to linger on the headache issue too long, just in case they realised he was lying. Callum figured he could deal with Lexi being around for a while longer- she was in her own world most of the time, so she likely wouldn’t notice if he was acting down. 

“Nah, she’s alright,” Callum dismissed with a wave of his hand, “she’s not too much trouble.”

“Well you be good lady,” Lola told her firmly, eyebrows raised and one finger pointed at her daughter, “the last thing I want to hear is that you’ve played up while we’ve been gone.”

“I’ll be good,” she smiled sweetly, “I promise.”

He didn’t think anybody could say no to those eyes. 

Lola got her shoes on and walked towards the door, and Ben came back over to the sofa Callum was sitting on, pulling him up and into an embrace. 

“You sure you’re okay?” he asked, a low murmur meant for Callum alone. He was thankful for the discrecion. 

“I’ll be fine,” he hummed back, his choice of words not necessarily a lie, but not quite the truth either. 

“See you later, then,” Ben said, pulling back slightly to kiss Callum goodbye. After everything that they had been through, the comfortable rhythm the two had found themselves in was better than anything Callum could ever have hoped for. It felt like both an age since they’d began and only a fleeting few days, and at no point in the first few months did he ever think that this would be where the two of them would end up.

He wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Lola and Ben left swiftly after that. As soon as she heard the door close, Lexi turned to face Callum.

“Do you mean it?” she asked, looking up at him with wide eyes.

“Mean what?” 

“That I can come and stay with you and daddy,” Lexi muttered, looking down and fiddling with the material of her dress as she spoke. Callum wasn’t sure he’d ever seen her look genuinely nervous before.

“Yeah, ‘course! Why would we not be? Your dad loves spending time with you,” he was a little shocked she even had to ask. She’d been so excited when they told her, and Callum realised she must have been waiting to speak to him alone.

“What about you?” she asked, “Do you like spending time with me?”

“Of course I like spending time with you!” he gushed, shaking his head a little at how ridiculous the question was, “Why would you even ask that?”

She shrugged, replying simply with “I was afraid you didn’t like me,” before jumping onto the sofa beside Callum and giving him a hug from the side. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. 

“Well I do like you, so you can stop worrying,” he said, tickling her side lightly as she giggled. She stopped suddenly, looking up to Callum with wide eyes, before asking;

“Can I have hot chocolate?”

He laughed at how quickly her priorities changed, before nodding his head and standing up, wrapping his arms around Lexi to pick her up as he moved. He carried her to the kitchen area over his shoulder, before finally placing her down on the kitchen floor. She didn’t stop laughing the whole time, and Callum couldn’t help but join in. He loved spending time with Lexi, so much so that he’d almost entirely forgotten about the card sitting in his pocket, and the looming dread that came with the words ‘ _ see you soon _ ’. It was the reason he’d wanted to be alone in the first place, but he didn’t seem to care enough to fret about it any more. What was more important was that moment- him, Lexi, and two mugs of hot chocolate. He could worry about everything else later.

Callum was performing every step of making the drink in an exaggerated manner, putting on a show for the little girl by his side and creating a distraction for himself.

“So you put the hot water in with the powder… got to be careful so you don’t burn yourself! And then you add a little bit of milk… stir it… and abracadabra!” he presented her with a mug full of hot chocolate, and they both grinned at each other. At that moment, the door buzzed.

“I’ll get it!” Lexi shouted, handing her mug back to Callum and running to buzz in whoever had rung.

“It’s probably your mum and dad, I bet they’ve left something behind,” Callum tutted, wiping at the kitchen surface- he’d spilt both the powder and the milk. They needed to invest in more tea towels- the amount he used simply cleaning up things he’d spilled all day was getting a little ridiculous. He heard the door open, and Lexi walk back towards him.

“Hello love,” came a voice from behind him. He turned around slowly, breath caught in his throat as he moved to face the speaker. The minute he set eyes on them he knew that he was irrevocably fucked.

“Hello mum.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu at hclfway.tumblr.com


	3. Chapter 3

Callum didn’t know what to say. There had been silence throughout the flat for the past few moments, him staring at his mother in shock, mouth agape as Lexi stood between the two. The young girl looked up at him, confused- she’d asked Callum about his mother before, and he’d merely told her that he hadn’t seen her for a very long time. The puzzled expression on her face told him everything he needed to know. 

“Right darlin’,” Callum began, crouching down to Lexi’s level to look her in the eyes, “how about you go sit in your new room, plan out where you’re gonna put everything, yeah?” 

She nodded at him wordlessly, hurrying off to do just as he had said. Callum took his phone out, sending Ben a quick text that read simply ‘ _ You need to come home. Everyone’s fine, but it’s an emergency x’ _ . He hoped they wouldn’t dawdle, and that he wouldn’t have to spend too long alone with his mother in his and Ben’s flat. He could do this anywhere else, just not here- but he couldn’t leave Lexi alone.

“She yours?” his mother asked, swaying slightly to gesture to the door. 

“Not really,” he mumbled, looking to the floor awkwardly. He didn’t really know how to explain his situation to her- especially because he didn’t know how much she already knew, “just babysitting.”

It felt wrong to call his relationship with Lexi  _ babysitting.  _ It just wasn’t true, and felt like an insult to both her and Ben- like she was some sort of burden that came with being with him. He didn’t babysit Lexi, he looked after her. She was his family, blood relation be damned.

“I remember when you were that little,” she said, a dreamy look on her face. It made Callum seethe.

“No you don’t.” He was sure of it.

“What do you mean?”

“She’s seven years old. You didn’t stick around that long.” He remembered it vividly- he was five years old, and he watched his mother walk out their front door, close it behind her, and never return. He was sobbing, he’d even packed to go with her- a suitcase by his side as she said “ _ no, you need to stay”,  _ kissed his forehead, and left his life forever. 

“Callum I wanted to, you need to believe me. But your dad-”

“I don’t care what Dad did,” he snapped, his voice raising for a second before he remembered that Lexi was in the next room, “but you didn’t have to leave me there with him. You could have taken me with you. You chose not to.” 

There was a hurt look on her face at his words, one that Callum didn’t quite know how to interpret. Regret, possibly. He didn’t have long to linger on the thought, however, because soon enough he heard the familiar jangling of keys that told him Ben and Lola had returned home. 

“Alright, what’s the big emergency?” Ben called out as he walked into the flat. He stopped in his tracks as he saw the stranger in his home, his eyes sweeping the room. Looking for his daughter. 

“Lexi’s in her room,” Callum said walking towards the door and pulling his mother along lightly by her arm, “I’m going out. I’ll be back in a bit.” 

He took her to the café on Bridge Street. It was familiar, and public enough so he couldn’t get too angry at her- but not as public as the Vic, where Mick would undoubtedly start asking questions. 

He ushered her to a table, ordering for the both of them and bringing the drinks back if only to give himself a lingering few moments alone, before everything started again. It felt like a decade ago that he’d been sitting in his flat with Ben, Lola and Lexi, planning out the new decorations for their flat. He’d been so happy and content then, surrounded by the people he loved with his mother and her birthday cards nothing but a passing memory. Not something he had to worry about right at that moment.

When he returned to the table with the two drinks, they were silent for a while. Callum didn’t have anything to say to her- had no idea what there was he  _ could  _ say.  _ “Hi mum, how’s your life been without me?” _ . There was so much she hadn’t been around for, so many parts of his life where she should have been there for him, but was nowhere to be found. He didn’t know where to begin with telling her the details of his life.

So he didn’t. He watched his mother, hands clasped around her mug of tea, as she looked him in the eye and smiled. He didn’t return the favour, simply keeping his eyes on her as she took a sip of her tea.

“You remembered,” she hummed as she placed the mug back down, a fond look now gracing her face.

“Remembered what?”

“How I like my tea. Two sugars, strong. I heard you tell the woman at the till.” She was right. It was one of the few things he knew about his mother, something he’d held on to as a child. Sometimes as a kid, when he’d really missed her, he’d made that exact cup of tea. His mother’s tea was one of the most prominent memories he had, and it was the best way he could think to remember her by.

It had also put him off tea for life- he couldn’t drink it without thinking of her. He stuck to hot chocolate. 

Callum didn’t want to tell her any of that, though. It felt too personal, like something she didn’t have the right to know.

“Guess it’s just a fluke,” he lied through his teeth, bringing his own drink to his lips to excuse himself from having to say anything further.

“Callum, I want you to know that-”

“Why are you here?” The question came to his mind at the same moment it left his lips. He didn’t need a second to think about it. His mother seemed taken aback, and she placed her mug on the table slowly, hands gripping the ceramic tighter than before. They had to have this conversation first, before anything else could be said; this was something he felt they both knew. There was a barrier between the two of them, mother and son torn apart by over two decades’ distance. 

She looked down at her hands, pensive. He followed her eyes.

“I know you probably don’t believe this,” she began, “but I really didn’t want to leave you behind that day. I would have given anything to take you with me, but I couldn’t. I’m here to make up for that.”

“What, and you think just showing up now and saying sorry is gonna fix all of this?,” he couldn’t believe the arrogance she seemed to hold, “Did you really think you could just turn up and everything would be okay? Like I’ve not been hurting over this for almost all my life?”

“No, I know you’ve been hurt sweetheart-” she tried to place her hands over Callum’s, but he yanked his hands back as she tried, crossing his arms at his chest and leaning back in his chair. “I know I can’t ever fix the fact that I left you.”

“With  _ him, _ ” Callum spat, the venom in his voice all he needed to convey his feelings for his father, “you left me alone, some scared little kid whose big brother wasn’t even home half the time, you left me alone with him. But it was alright, because  _ you _ got away, yeah?”

“It wasn’t like that-”

“Wasn’t it? Because that’s how it felt.” He could feel the tears welling in his eyes, but he refused to cry. He didn’t want her pity here, he wanted her to feel just how much he hated that she had left him. 

“I’m sorry that I did that to you,” she said, genuine remorse apparent on her face. Callum didn’t want to believe it for one second. “And I’m not here to make it go away. I just want to know you Callum, I want to be a part of my son’s life.”

_ You gave up that right years ago, _ he thought, but didn’t say it aloud. Instead, he aired a much more pressing question-

“How did you find me?” He’d been wondering it ever since the first card- how had his mother got his address? The only contact the two had had throughout the decades she’d been away was stories from the people in his neighbourhood- and even then it was just what she was flogging this time. 

“Your dad came to find me.” Callum froze. “He tracked me down, stormed into my house off his face, ranting and raving about how you were out of line and it was  _ my turn _ to sort you out this time. He wouldn’t tell me what had happened, but he was angry. Said he was done with you.” He couldn’t begin to put into words just how good it was to hear his mother tell him that Jonno hadn’t told her what had happened. That meant she didn’t know yet, wasn’t here to pass judgement on him. On the other hand, it did mean he’d have to come out to her some time soon.

“It wasn’t as bad as he’s made it sound,” Callum murmured, “we just got into an argument is all. Don’t matter now, anyway.” He wanted to get off the subject as quickly as possible; if his mother didn’t know he was gay yet, he wanted to build up to telling her. There was no way he’d be able to just come out right that second, in the café over a hot chocolate. 

“Well your dad’s never been known for his rational reactions, has he? Whatever it is, I’m sure he’ll get over it.” 

He wasn’t sure he would, but he stayed silent. There was no way to convey just how much Jonno resented him now without giving away exactly what had happened between them; and he needed to find his own time to tell his mother who he really was. That was something which could wait until after the dust had settled- if it ever did.

He watched his mother’s eyes shift towards the counter, a confusing look on her face- one of apprehension, or perhaps anxiety. He didn’t know his mother well enough any more to tell. He turned to look at what was happening, but didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. There was a couple sitting at the window, laughing as they bit into their slices of cake. Ben’s dad was at the counter, listing his order to Marie, and there was an old woman waiting behind him impatiently. He didn’t understand what could have caused her discomfort.

“Are you alright?” he asked, voice lowered slightly. His mother blinked rapidly, shaking her head a little as if snapping out of deep thought. 

“What? Oh, yes, don’t worry about me. Absolutely fine.” She gave an unconvincing grin. Callum dropped the subject.

They sat there until closing, awkward pauses and all. Their conversations seemed to go in circles- that she was sorry for leaving him, and never wanted to, to which Callum would reply that that didn’t matter, because she  _ did  _ leave him, and then on to how she wanted to be part of his life now, even if it wouldn’t make up for her years of absence. It was cathartic, in a way, even if they were getting nowhere. 

The clock ticked over to midnight during a pause in conversation between the two. They were the only ones in the café now, except for Marie- who was sitting behind the counter half-asleep, reading a book and likely very sick of the two customers stopping her from closing up. Just after midnight struck, Callum’s mother looked him in the eyes, and placed her hands on his. This time, he let her. 

“Happy birthday son,” she said, for the first time in twenty-four long years. He figured it should have felt incredible. Like some great, life-long weight had been lifted from his shoulders. His mother was back; every wish he’d ever made since the age of five had come true. Nothing else should matter now. He should be happier than he’d ever been.

He wasn’t. 

It felt empty. They were just words, meaningless words that didn’t make him feel anything except resentment. He couldn’t help but think of all the other times, birthday after birthday where all he would have given was to hear his mother’s voice, and it wasn’t there. 

He wasn’t sure he needed it now.

“I have to go,” he said, getting up from his seat abruptly. He couldn’t sit here any longer and stew in the past. 

“Wait-” his mother called out, scrambling for her bag, “I got you a gift.” She fumbled inside her bag for a moment, before bringing out a wrapped box and handing it to Callum. “My number’s on the name tag. Please call me, I want to see you again.” 

“Yeah. Yeah sure,” he breathed out, walking away from their table. He ducked out the door and into the dark street, finally alone with his thoughts for what felt like the first time in ages. 

He let himself wander for a while, clutching at the box in his hands as he walked. So much had happened in so little time, he had no idea how to get his head around everything. He didn’t know how he was supposed to feel- wasn’t even sure how he  _ wanted _ to feel. His mother was back, and part of him wanted to celebrate, scream and cry in joy because this missing piece of him had returned. But another part of him was sure that this wouldn’t last. His mother had abandoned him once, what was going to stop her from doing it again? She had claimed to feel remorse for leaving him behind, yet surely if that was true, she wouldn’t have done it in the first place- or would have reached out sooner, instead of waiting until he was  _ twenty nine years old. _

He’d even asked her, at one point.  _ “Why now? Why are you suddenly back now? You’ve been gone for so long.” _

She replied simply with  _ “I didn’t know where you were before.” _

It was bullshit. Sure, she wouldn’t have known for the past few years, since he’d left home- but before then? They’d stayed in the same dingy council house his whole life, both before and after she left him. She had known where he was.

Nothing made sense any more.

Ben was still awake when Callum returned home. He was sitting on their sofa, a half-drunk cup of coffee on the arm beside him when he walked in. Ben rose the second he heard the door, and saw his boyfriend enter.

“You’ve been gone ages, I was getting worried,” he sighed, coming over to Callum and wrapping his arms around him. “Don’t just leave like that.”

Callum leaned down and kissed Ben, an apology passing between then as he did so, before resting his head on his shoulder. “A lot’s just happened.” 

Ben lead the two of them over to the sofa, pulling Callum down with him as he sat. Callum wriggled his way down to lay his head on Ben’s chest, dropping the present to the floor beside him. He’d consider whether or not he wanted to unwrap it in the morning. 

“That was my mum,” he aired as he looked at the ceiling. Ben was silent for a moment, and Callum could feel him tense up a little beneath him.

“I thought you said-”

“Yeah. But my dad found her, apparently, told her she had to come and sort me out. Gave her our address and everything.” 

“Did he tell her about us?” Ben mumbled. He’d started tracing light shapes on Callum’s arm, and Callum could hear just how tired he was. He felt bad for keeping him awake.

“No, no. She doesn’t know. I told her I was babysitting Lexi, as well.”

“Are you going to tell her?” That was a question he didn’t know how to answer. He wasn’t sure his mother would even stick around long enough to necessitate him telling her- but at the same time, he remembered how hurt he had been when Ben had lied about their relationship to Pam. He didn’t want to hurt Ben that same way.

He decided it was best to be truthful. “I’m not sure. I will if you want me to.” 

“I won’t rush you,” Ben hummed. Callum was thankful for that. “But I wish you’d told me more about her before.” 

Callum tried to think what exactly he had told Ben about his mother- it couldn’t have been much, because there wasn’t a great deal he knew himself. 

“She was sick of my dad even before she had me. Stuck around until I was five years old, and we were proper close back then. From what I can remember, anyway. And then one day she just left. Don’t even remember what caused it- and then I never saw her again. That’s all there is, really. And now she’s back.” 

Ben just tightened his arm around him a little, a supportive pressure on his side. 

“Well you’ve come to the right place for the reappearing mothers support group,” Ben joked, poking him in the side, “but in the meantime, I think it’s best if you get some rest. Been a long day, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Callum agreed as he let himself be led up from the sofa and into bed. 

Everything was going to be different when he woke. But for now, he was going to sleep; and going to forget about everything that had happened in the last few days.

“Hey,” Ben murmured in the darkness, a few moments later. “Happy birthday.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu at hclfway.tumblr.com


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for not uploading last week, i got super busy and didn't have time to write fgfjfg  
this chapter is currently un-edited, so i apologise for any mistakes. i'll come back and fix them later!

The next day, Callum woke to a heavy weight landing on his chest, jolting him out of his dream so suddenly it made him jump. His eyes shot open, and he was met with Lexi’s face inches from his, grin spread wide across her face.

“Happy birthday!” she cheered, making Callum wince a little at the sudden loud noise so early in his day. He wrapped his arms around her anyway, squeezing her into a hug as she giggled.

“Thought we’d come surprise ya’” Lola chuckled from the kitchen. “I did tell madam not to burst in, but she never listens.”

He heard Ben laugh at that, his first indication that his boyfriend was already up and about. Callum supposed he must have let the two in. They had a spare key, but Lola was unlikely to use it for something as small as a birthday greeting. 

“We brought you a present!” Lexi said from Callum’s arms. He sat up, bringing her with him as he did so. For a seven-year-old, she was surprisingly light-weight. 

“What is it?” he tried, getting interrupted halfway through by Lexi shaking her head quickly, squirming out of his arms and running from the room.

“I’m not telling! You have to unwrap it!” she shouted as she ran back to her parents. He sighed exaggeratedly for her benefit, getting up and out of bed and pulling on a pair of jeans before emerging out into the main room of the flat. 

“Happy birthday!” came a cheer from the small gathering of people in his living room. Lexi had come over to sit with her mum, Ben was making coffee in the kitchen, and Jay- who up until this point had been so quiet Callum hadn’t realised he was present- was sitting on a stool beside the kitchen counter. 

“You sit down with Lex and Lo, babe, I’ll bring you a drink over while you unwrap your prezzies,” Ben smiled, a teasing lilt to his voice. Callum did as he was told, a smile on his face all the while. He didn’t remember ever having such a warm start to his birthday. 

Whitney and the Carters had been there the previous year, of course, and the year before that was spent with the lads in the army- but it had never quite felt like this. For all the kind words and hugs and presents, he’d still never quite  _ got  _ it, had never truly felt that it was okay to receive so much attention from everyone, to take centre stage for a day and have things be about him. That comfort was never there. 

But it was now. It came as a surprise, the ease he felt at meeting the people he loved that morning and having them focus on celebrating his life. The nagging voice in his head from previous years that told him he didn’t deserve so much fuss was nowhere to be heard, and he relaxed into having a good time with his sort-of family.

He opened Lexi’s present first. It was clear that Lola had allowed her to wrap it herself- it was almost covered in sticky tape, and the wrapping paper was awkwardly wrapped around the present inside. 

Callum’s heart melted when he finally managed to tear away the wrapping paper. Inside was a framed photograph of him and Lexi. He remembered that day well- he had a day off work, and the others were busy, so he picked Lexi up from school and the two spent the afternoon together. He taught her how to make cupcakes, and they had a trip to the park. There was still frosting around her mouth in the photo.

“I love it, Lex,” he said, pulling the little girl in for a hug. It was such a simple gift, but it truly did mean a lot to him. He was still amazed that the little girl had accepted him so readily; after all, from her perspective he was just some random man her dad had started dating. 

He opened his present from Jay and Lola next- a jumper with a UFO on it. He’d started wearing jumpers again much more frequently recently, and they seemed to have noticed. 

Then there was his gift from Ben- a box set he’d been rabbiting on about for a while. He was confused when Ben seemed to look at him like there was something he was missing.

“Well go on then, open it up, check the discs are all there. I paid good money for that.”

He did so, a little confused, until he was what actually sat inside the box, in place of the DVD’s. A car key.

“I got it cheap through some contacts with the car lot,” Ben explained, “and don’t worry, it’s all legit- I wouldn’t do that to ya. Well, not again.”

The four of them laughed, and Callum couldn’t break his eyes away from the key in his hand. He hadn’t been expecting such a grand present, especially not a car. He couldn’t believe he was so lucky. 

Callum stood from the sofa wordlessly, striding over to Ben and pulling him into a tight embrace. 

“It’s amazing, thank you,” he breathed between them, not even sure he could hug his boyfriend tight enough to show his gratitude. He pulled backwards slightly, and pressed a slow kiss to Ben’s lips.

“Eugh!” came a cry from Lexi across the room, and Callum couldn’t help but laugh, breaking the kiss as he turned to make a face at her. 

“Oi, you aint opened this one yet!” came a shout from Lola, and when he looked over to her he wasn’t sure what to do. She was holding the gift his mother had given him. He’d left it on the floor the night before, not paying it a second thought since the moment it had left his hands. And now, he had to face up to how his life had changed the day before. 

Callum walked back over to the sofa, taking the present from Lola as he did so. For a few moments, he just stared at it, as if willing it to disappear so that he wouldn’t have to deal with the situation. The box in his hands could hold anything inside, good or bad.

He bit the bullet, and pulled the paper away, revealing a simple gift box. He held his breath as he lifted the lid, and felt his heart skip as he saw what was inside.

To anyone else, it would simply be a wooden plane. A silly little toy, with no real relevance or importance. But to Callum- this was everything. Sitting inside the box his mother had given him was the very same toy plane his father had given him for his birthday so many years ago; the only gift Jonno had ever got him. He hadn’t known what had happened to it, but now it was all too obvious.

“She kept it,” he whispered, picking up the plane delicately, as if it may break, “for all these years… she kept it.”

He knew the others could tell this was something important to him- they’d gone very quiet, only watching him with sincere looks on their faces. There was silence for a few moments as he held the toy, before Jay broke the silence by clearing his throat.

“We’ll leave you be now, but Phil wanted me to tell you two that he wants us all round for dinner tonight.”

“The honour of a Mitchell family dinner,” Ben mused, smiling at Callum. While they were never the most relaxed or calm of events, it was still nice to feel wanted. He knew even Ben worried still that his father did not truly accept the two of them.

Jay, Lola and Lexi left swiftly after that, following a round of hugs and Lexi singing ‘happy birthday’ as she was ushered out the door. Callum was still half elsewhere, thinking about the toy plane on the sofa and all the implications that came with it.

“So what is it then?” Ben asked, nodding towards the toy. The two sat down together on the sofa, and Callum leaned in towards Ben, bringing the plane between them. 

“The only present my dad ever got me, this. I thought I’d lost it but… mum gave it back to me. She’d had it all this time.” He could only begin to think about what this meant about the time she’d been away.

“She still cared about you,” Ben suggested, running a finger over the red-painted wood, “enough to want something she could remember you by.”

“I guess,” Callum agreed, “but then why’s she giving it back now?”

“Maybe because she doesn’t want to just remember any more.”

They sat there together for some time, bodies pressed close together as they talked idly about whatever was running through their minds. They allowed the hours to slip by them easily, moving only when the sun began to set and the family dinner inched ever closer. 

He put on a nice shirt, as always, and did his best to make a good impression on Ben’s family. He couldn’t help but wonder what the reason behind the dinner was. Phil had a habit of calling family dinners whenever he so felt like it; however Callum secretly hoped that it had at least something to do with his birthday. It was a silly hope, but there nonetheless.

He didn’t even know if Phil knew it was his birthday at all.

They walked over to the Mitchell house just as the sky began to darken, and their stomachs ached for food. They approached hand-in-hand, and Louise greeted them at the door, baby Peggy by her side. 

“Welcome to the madhouse,” she joked as she stepped aside to allow the two in. 

The Mitchell house always held an intimidating air, for Callum. Whenever he was inside, he felt like he had to watch every move, lest he do the wrong thing and be told off- almost like a child on a primary school field trip.

Callum and Ben walked into the front room, and were greeted by cheers from a sizeable amount of Ben’s family. Jay, Lola and Lexi were sitting on one side of the table, with Will, Janet and Denny sitting around the far end. The two seats beside the head of the table were empty, with Louise, Honey and Billy sitting on the opposite side. 

Callum couldn’t help but realise there was nowhere for Sharon to sit.

They took the two remaining seats, Callum next to Jay and Ben sitting by the end, beside where his dad would soon be. Ben would never have admitted it, but Callum could see the hint of joy on his face at being allowed to sit so close. He knew just how difficult it had been for Ben, being shunned and unaccepted by his father for so long, and just how incredible it must feel now to be given even the smallest tidbits of acceptance.

He was reluctant to admit that he was jealous; at least a little. While Callum didn’t idolise his father in the same way that Ben did, he still knew that he’d never have the chance to receive even a small amount of warmth from Jonno. Not any more.

The family chatted for a while, and Callum tried to join in as much he could. Phil entered the room a short while after with Sharon trailing behind him, the two of them carrying plates of food and bringing them out to each person round the table. When everyone had received their food, Phil sat down and Sharon moved to leave.

“You not joining us, Sharon?” Ben asked, making her stop in her tracks on the way to the door.

“Oh, no not today love,” she smiled, though it was one Callum could tell she was forcing. He felt truly awful for Sharon whenever he thought about her situation, after everything that had happened last year. Phil had been enraged to discover that Keanu was the father of Sharon’s baby, and when the child was born had demanded that it be sent away with Keanu, somewhere Phil would never have to see it. If the baby went away, he would allow Sharon to stay in their home, as opposed to kicking her out on the street. It was one of the darkest things he’d ever seen Ben’s father do, and Callum couldn’t imagine just how painful it was for Sharon to have her baby taken away from her. Even after months, she still seemed deeply affected. Whenever Callum saw her, she was much meeker than he remembered, a shadow of who she had been before. He couldn’t understand why she would stay. 

Ben and Callum watched as she left the room, and Phil cleared his throat to begin his pre-dinner speech. This part of the dinner was always a novelty to Callum. He’d never really experienced having an extended family before, let alone one with such a strong patriarchal figure at the head of it. He didn’t even know his cousins’ names, yet here was a collection of Mitchells from two very separate and distinct areas of the family tree, both gathered together under Phil’s thumb.

“Right, well I just wanna say that as we all know, family is the most important thing in this world. And celebrating that family as well. It was Ben’s birthday the other day, and seeing as we couldn’t catch him then I thought it would be nice if we could all get together today. To Ben.”

The others around the table toasted along, taking sips from their drinks as they did so. The only one who seemed displeased was Ben.

“And it’s Callum’s birthday today,” Ben interjected, irritation already clear in his voice, “so to Callum.”

The second toast happened with just as much enthusiasm as the last, however this time there was a voice missing- Phil’s. Callum rested a hand on Ben’s thigh, rubbing slightly with his thumb. He could tell he was getting angry at his father, and hoped they could move past it. He didn’t really mind if Phil didn’t toast to him- he found the whole thing a little embarrassing anyway.

But Ben couldn’t let it go.

“I’m sorry Dad, do you have a problem with my boyfriend being here?” Ben’s hand came to rest atop Callum’s as he spoke. 

“No, I’ve got no problem. Let’s just eat,” Phil dismissed. It sounded disingenuine, but they all started to eat regardless. All they had to do was get through this dinner, and then they could leave. He just prayed Ben didn’t rip his father’s head off before then.

Phil continued to act strangely towards Callum throughout the whole dinner. He seemed to pretend like he wasn’t there- not meeting eye contact, or ever speaking to him directly. He tried not to let it bother him, but he would be lying if he said it wasn’t a little upsetting. Callum wanted nothing more than to be accepted by Ben’s family, and Phil seemed to be the last and greatest barrier to that goal.

Ben got more and more agitated as dinner went on. He made several attempts to engage Phil in conversation with Callum, even specifically telling Phil about things that had happened to the two of them recently. Every time, however, Phil would brush him off with a grunt or a short sentence. It only took so long before Ben couldn’t take any more.

“Right, I’m not having this. You’ve got a problem with me bringing my boyfriend to this dinner, and don’t pretend you aint. So go on then, spit it out.” Phil seemed taken aback by this sudden antagonism, and tried once again to brush it off.

“I aint got an issue, Ben, just leave it.”

“Don’t lie. You’ve been pretending all along that you’re alright with me being gay but you never change, do ya? You’re never just gonna accept-”

“I don’t care that you’re gay, Ben, or that Callum’s your boyfriend!” Phil shouted suddenly, making several people around the table jump, “but what I do care about is that last night, he was sitting in the café with Brandi Nelson!” 

Everyone went silent at that. Callum didn’t know how to respond, or if he even should. 

“What are you talking about?” Ben asked, looking to Callum in confusion.

“Grant’s ex. A nasty piece of work who tried to rob us blind before I caught her. I haven’t seen her in years, and the first time I do she’s with  _ him.”  _

“She’s my mum,” Callum blurted out, unsure whether it was the right thing to do or not. There were a thousand questions spinning in his head at once- when did she have a relationship with Ben’s uncle? Did she really try to rob the brothers? What was he supposed to do now? 

He struggled to process the information, and all the implications it held. He wondered if this had anything to do with his mothers’ sudden reappearance. It was entirely possible that she had been lying to him about Jonno not telling her anything, or maybe she’d found out that he was dating Ben from some other source. It now seemed possible that the only reason she had come back into Callum’s life was to screw over the Mitchells again, a second attempt to take the money that she allegedly tried to steal. Or, even worse, maybe her sights were set on getting money from Callum himself. Phil’s revelation had changed the way he saw everything that had happened in the past few days. He hoped that his mother genuinely did want to reconnect with him, but everything seemed to make too much sense now. His mother wasn’t back for him.

Phil had gone quiet since Callum had spoken. Nobody else around the table dared to speak, and so they sat staring in silence for a few moments. 

After what felt like an age, Phil spoke, now in a much calmer and quieter tone,

“I think the two of you should leave.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu at hclfway.tumblr.com


End file.
